Hey Pandas, What Are Your Sexualities? (Closed)

If you spend enough time on the internet, sooner or later you stumble on a post that feels like a group hug.
The Bored Panda thread “Hey Pandas, What Are Your Sexualities?” was exactly that: a giant digital circle where
people of all ages and identities showed up, grabbed a metaphorical mic, and said, “Here’s who I am.”

Even though that original thread is closed, the conversation it started is still very much alive. Sexuality is
something many people are questioning, redefining, and proudly naming. So let’s take that same curious, cozy
“Hey Pandas” energy and turn it into a guide: what sexuality actually means, how different sexualities are
described, why labels can be helpful (but not mandatory), and how to talk about your sexuality safely and kindly
online.

From a Bored Panda Thread to a Bigger Conversation

The charm of Bored Panda’s community threads is that no one has to be a professional expert. You see posts from
teenagers quietly testing the waters, adults who came out later in life, and folks who proudly rock labels like
“asexual,” “pansexual,” or “queer” after years of feeling “off script.”

Those comments highlight something important: sexuality isn’t just a dry definition in a textbook. It’s who you
text late at night, who you daydream about, who you feel safe around. It’s emotional, romantic, sometimes sexual,
sometimes not, and it doesn’t always fit in neat boxes. That’s why so many people loved sharing their
sexualities in that thread not to pass a test, but to say, “I exist. Anyone else?”

What Do We Mean by “Sexuality” Anyway?

Sexual orientation 101

In simple terms, sexuality or sexual orientation is about who you’re emotionally,
romantically, and/or sexually attracted to if anyone. Some people feel all three kinds of attraction; others
only feel one or two. For example, you might be romantically attracted to multiple genders but only sexually
attracted to one, or not sexually attracted to anyone at all.

Many health and mental health organizations describe sexual orientation as an enduring pattern of attraction that
can include labels like straight, gay, lesbian, bisexual, pansexual, asexual, and more. The key word here is
“pattern,” not “one crush you had in eighth grade.” It’s about how you tend to feel over time, even though
there can still be flexibility and change.

Sexuality vs. gender: two different things

One big source of confusion: sexuality is about who you’re attracted to.
Gender identity is about who you are. They interact, but they’re not the same.

• Gender identity: Your internal sense of being a man, woman, nonbinary, genderqueer, etc.
• Sexuality: Who you’re romantically or sexually attracted to (if anyone).

So a nonbinary person might be gay, bi, straight, pan, ace, or something else. A cisgender man (someone whose
gender matches the sex he was assigned at birth) can also be any sexual orientation. The menu is wide open.

A Quick Tour of Common Sexualities

No single list can cover every sexuality or label out there language evolves constantly, and communities keep
inventing terms that feel more accurate and affirming. But here’s a quick overview of some common sexualities
you’ll see mentioned in “Hey Pandas”–style threads and LGBTQ+ spaces.

Heterosexual (Straight)

A heterosexual or straight person is typically attracted to people of a different gender.
For example, a straight man is usually attracted to women, and a straight woman is usually attracted to men.
That doesn’t mean they never appreciate people of other genders, but their romantic and sexual attractions are
mostly toward the “other” gender.

Gay and Lesbian

Gay often refers to men who are attracted to men, but many people of different genders use “gay” as an
umbrella term for same-gender attraction. A lesbian is a woman (or nonbinary person who identifies with
the term) who is emotionally and/or sexually attracted to women. These labels are two of the oldest and best-known
in the LGBTQ+ community.

Bisexual and Pansexual

Bisexual people experience attraction to more than one gender. That doesn’t always mean “men and women only”
many bisexual folks are attracted to a range of genders, including nonbinary people. “Bi” is about attraction to
more than one gender, not necessarily all genders.

Pansexual people are often described as being attracted to people regardless of gender. Some pan folks say
they’re attracted to “hearts, not parts” the connection matters more than what gender the person is. Bisexual and
pansexual can overlap a lot; people pick the label that feels best for them.

Asexual, Demisexual, and Graysexual

Not everyone experiences sexual attraction. The asexual or ace spectrum covers people who feel little or
no sexual attraction to others. Some are also aromantic (they feel little or no romantic attraction), while others
still date, fall in love, and build strong emotional bonds just without the sexual part.

Demisexual people typically don’t feel sexual attraction unless they’ve formed a deep emotional connection first.
It’s not about “being old-fashioned” or “waiting until marriage”; it’s about how their brain and body experience
attraction in the first place.

Graysexual or gray-ace people land somewhere between allosexual (experiencing regular sexual attraction) and
asexual. They might rarely feel sexual attraction, or only under very specific circumstances, and may or may not
want sexual relationships.

Queer and Questioning

Queer is a reclaimed umbrella term that many LGBTQ+ people use for any non-heterosexual and/or non-cisgender
identity. Some love it because it’s flexible and doesn’t require a super-precise label. Others don’t use it,
especially in regions where it has been used as a slur so it’s always best to follow how a person describes
themselves.

Questioning simply means you’re not sure yet. You might be testing labels, watching who you crush on, or just
letting yourself be “??? for now.” Questioning is a valid identity. You don’t have to complete a BuzzFeed quiz,
consult three elders, and reach a final verdict by Friday.

Why Labels Can Help (and Why They Can Change)

Labels are tools, not cages. For many people, finally finding a word that fits “lesbian,” “bi,” “ace,” “pan,”
“queer” feels like putting on a perfectly tailored jacket after years of itchy sweaters. It can help you find
community, recognize patterns in your relationships, and understand that you’re not alone.

At the same time, sexuality can be fluid. You might identify as straight in high school, bi in your 20s, and
pan in your 30s, or never change your label at all. Research and lived experience both suggest that some people’s
attractions shift over time, and that’s okay. You’re allowed to update your label as you get more data from your
own life.

Think of labels like the “tags” on a Bored Panda post: they help others find you and understand the general vibe,
but they’re not the entire story.

Sharing Your Sexuality Online: Lessons from the Pandas

Watching people casually share their sexualities in an online thread can make it look easy, but it’s worth thinking
about safety and emotional readiness before you share your own story on social media, in forums, or comment sections.

Ask yourself a few questions first

• Who can see this? Is it a public thread or a private group? Could family members, classmates, or coworkers find it?
• Am I ready for mixed reactions? Supportive comments are amazing, but trolls still exist. Do you have people you can vent to if someone is rude?
• Is this the first time I’m saying it out loud? It might feel better to start with a trusted friend, therapist, or support line before broadcasting it.

Respecting other people’s privacy

The unspoken rule of “Hey Pandas”–type threads: you only share your story. Never out someone else’s sexuality
or gender identity not your friend, sibling, coworker, or partner without their clear consent. For some people,
being outed can be emotionally dangerous or even physically unsafe.

Basic online safety tips around sexuality

• Use a username that doesn’t reveal your real name or location if you’re not fully out yet.
• Be careful sharing identifying details like your school, workplace, or small town in the same post as your sexuality.
• If a conversation moves from a comment thread to private messages, remember you can block, mute, or leave at any time.
• Save screenshots of supportive comments they can be a nice reminder on tougher days.

If You’re Questioning Your Sexuality Right Now

If you clicked on this article because you’re still figuring things out, you’re in very good company. A huge portion
of the people who comment on sexuality threads are somewhere between “I think I’m…” and “I have no idea what’s going on,
but something is definitely different.”

Some gentle reminders:

• You don’t have to rush. There’s no deadline for picking a label.
• You’re allowed to change your mind. Trying “bisexual” one year and “pansexual” the next doesn’t make your past self fake; it means you learned more.
• Attraction doesn’t need a perfect explanation. You can notice your patterns without fully understanding them right away.

It can also help to:

• Journal about your crushes, daydreams, and what feels good or not in relationships.
• Read stories or watch content from people who share identities you’re curious about.
• Talk with a therapist or counselor who understands LGBTQ+ topics, if that’s available to you.

Above all, remember that sexuality is not a performance for other people. It’s about knowing yourself well enough
to build relationships that feel honest, safe, and fulfilling.

500-Word Corner: “Hey Pandas”–Style Experiences

To keep the spirit of the original Bored Panda thread alive, here are some composite, anonymized “Hey Pandas”–style
experiences that echo what many people shared about their sexualities.

“I Thought Everyone Felt Like This”

One commenter grew up assuming they were straight because that was the default story around them. In high school,
she realized she was staring at girls way more than boys, but she wrote it off as “admiring their style.” It wasn’t
until college and a roommate with a Pride flag and a stack of queer novels that she finally said the word
“lesbian” out loud in the mirror. She describes it as the moment when a fuzzy picture suddenly snapped into focus.
Nothing in her past changed, but her interpretation of it did.

“Bisexual, But Not the Stereotype”

Another person described themselves as bi but felt pressure to “prove” it: “If I’m dating a guy, straight people
assume I’m straight. If I’m dating a girl, some folks assume I’m secretly a lesbian. It’s like my actual label only
counts when I’m single.” Reading other bisexual commenters say the same thing was a relief. For them, the best
part of sexuality threads is realizing other people are juggling the same frustrating stereotypes and still proudly
claiming their identity.

Discovering the Ace Spectrum

One ace-spectrum commenter said they spent years thinking they were “broken.” They loved romance movies, adored
cuddling, and enjoyed long, emotional talks but the sexual part never clicked. They tried forcing themselves
into situations that friends described as “fun” and instead felt disconnected and upset. Finding the asexual and
demisexual labels online gave them language for their experience and a community full of people who felt the same.
“I’m not broken, I’m just built differently,” they wrote. “And my relationships are finally allowed to look like me.”

Pansexual and Proud… Eventually

A pansexual commenter shared that their attraction patterns didn’t fit what they’d been taught. They’d crush on
classmates regardless of gender, fall for fictional characters of all kinds, and feel most drawn to someone’s
humor, kindness, or brain rather than their gender. For years, they hopped from label to label. When they found
the word “pansexual,” it felt like coming home. Still, it took time to say it publicly. First online under a
username, then with close friends, and finally with family when they felt safe enough. “Coming out,” they said,
“wasn’t one big dramatic moment; it was a bunch of small, brave ones.”

Parents on a Learning Curve

The original “Hey Pandas” threads also drew comments from parents. One mom wrote that she had to quietly unlearn
some of her assumptions when her teen came out as nonbinary and queer. She worried about “saying it wrong” and
accidentally hurting her kid’s feelings. So she started reading, listening, and practicing simple phrases: using
the correct pronouns, saying “partner” instead of assuming “boyfriend” or “girlfriend,” and asking, “How can I
support you?” The teen later told her, “You don’t have to be perfect. You just have to keep trying.” For them,
that’s what acceptance looks like.

These stories aren’t identical, but they share a theme: sexuality is personal, sometimes confusing, often evolving,
and always worthy of respect. Whether you’re solid in your label or still experimenting, there’s room for you in
this conversation even if the original Bored Panda thread is officially closed.

The Thread Is Closed, Your Self-Discovery Isn’t

“Hey Pandas, What Are Your Sexualities?” might be locked now, but the questions it raised keep echoing: Who am I
attracted to? What words feel like home? How do I talk about this without feeling weird, unsafe, or alone?

You don’t need a comment box to keep exploring those answers. You can try on labels and set them down again. You
can share your sexuality with a tight circle of trusted people or keep it private while you figure things out. You
can be straight, gay, bi, pan, ace, queer, questioning, or something else entirely and you’re still worthy of
care, community, and a life that feels honest and joyful.

The biggest lesson from the Pandas is simple: you are not the only one. Whatever your sexuality looks like today,
there are others out there who get it, are living it, and are ready to say, “Same here.”