medical student well-being Archives - Global Travel Noteshttps://dulichbaolocaz.com/tag/medical-student-well-being/Sharing real travel experiences worldwideMon, 30 Mar 2026 13:11:10 +0000en-UShourly1https://wordpress.org/?v=6.8.3An oath I cannot keephttps://dulichbaolocaz.com/an-oath-i-cannot-keep/https://dulichbaolocaz.com/an-oath-i-cannot-keep/#respondMon, 30 Mar 2026 13:11:10 +0000https://dulichbaolocaz.com/?p=11056What does it mean when a future doctor hesitates before taking the physician’s oath? This in-depth article explores the painful gap between medicine’s ideals and the realities of training and practice, from hidden curriculum and harassment to burnout, moral injury, and patient safety. With thoughtful analysis, vivid examples, and a human voice, it examines why the phrase 'An oath I cannot keep' resonates so deeply and what must change to make medicine worthy of its own promises.

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There is something beautifully dramatic about an oath. It arrives dressed for the occasion, chest out, shoulders back, sounding as if violins should be playing somewhere in the distance. In medicine, that moment matters. A future physician stands at the edge of a profession that promises skill, compassion, dignity, honesty, and lifelong learning. The oath is supposed to feel like a bridge between ambition and service.

But what happens when the person taking the oath already knows the bridge has missing boards?

That is the uncomfortable truth behind the phrase An oath I cannot keep. It does not sound like laziness. It does not sound like indifference. It sounds like conflict. It sounds like a person who still believes in the ideals of medicine but no longer trusts the machinery surrounding those ideals. And that distinction matters. A doctor who says, “I do not care,” is one problem. A doctor who says, “I care, but the system is asking me to pretend,” is a much bigger one.

This is why the title hits so hard. It captures a central tension in modern health care: medicine still speaks the language of calling, but training and practice often feel like negotiations with exhaustion, bureaucracy, fear, silence, and institutional self-protection. The oath says, “Honor the patient, respect your colleagues, act with integrity.” The lived experience too often replies, “Wonderful. Please do that while navigating burnout, rushed visits, administrative overload, broken reporting systems, and a culture that occasionally confuses endurance with character.”

What the oath is supposed to mean

A physician’s oath is not merely ceremonial wallpaper. It is meant to express the profession’s moral center. Whether framed through traditional language, modern pledges, or the broader principles of medical ethics, the message is consistent: care competently, treat people with dignity, safeguard trust, keep learning, and place patients above ego. In plain English, the oath says a doctor should be skilled, humane, honest, and worthy of confidence.

That promise still matters. Patients do not walk into clinics hoping for a technically excellent robot with the emotional warmth of a parking meter. They want competence, yes, but they also want to feel seen. The oath protects that human expectation. It tells society that medicine is not just a trade. It is a profession with obligations.

And yet the oath is also awkward in one important way: it is usually made by individuals, while many of the forces that shape whether it can be honored are institutional. A student can promise respect. A resident can promise diligence. An attending can promise compassion. But none of them can single-handedly create a safe learning environment, remove punitive hierarchies, fix understaffing, erase discrimination, or redesign a system that rewards speed over presence. An oath can guide a conscience, but it cannot by itself repair a culture.

Why “I cannot keep it” is not a rejection of medicine

At first glance, the phrase sounds rebellious, maybe even cynical. But in reality, it may be the opposite. The person who struggles to take an oath often takes it more seriously than the person who recites it without hesitation. If you only make promises you believe you can keep, then an oath becomes less of a ceremonial speech and more of a moral contract.

That is what makes this topic so compelling. The problem is not that today’s trainees and clinicians are too weak for the profession. The problem is that many of them are being asked to promise ideals in environments that regularly undermine those same ideals. It is hard to pledge respect for colleagues when harassment is minimized. It is hard to pledge gratitude to teachers when institutions protect status more aggressively than truth. It is hard to promise presence for patients when documentation systems swallow time like a hungry printer possessed by chaos.

In other words, the oath is not failing because people have stopped caring. It is failing because reality keeps barging into the ceremony with a clipboard and bad timing.

The hidden curriculum: where the real lessons live

Medical education has a formal curriculum and an informal one. The formal curriculum says the right things out loud. It teaches professionalism, empathy, ethics, communication, and patient-centered care. The hidden curriculum whispers different lessons in hallways, call rooms, evaluation forms, and casual jokes. It teaches students what the institution actually rewards.

If the formal curriculum says, “Speak up about safety,” but the culture punishes dissent, students learn silence. If the official message is, “Take care of your mental health,” but seeking help feels risky or stigmatized, students learn performance. If schools praise teamwork but tolerate bullying, learners absorb the oldest lesson in hierarchy: survival first, ideals second.

This is where the phrase An oath I cannot keep becomes more than a dramatic headline. It becomes a diagnosis. The individual is not simply struggling with a promise. The individual is reacting to a split between the values medicine advertises and the behavior some institutions normalize. That split creates disillusionment, and disillusionment is dangerous because it is often slow, cumulative, and quiet. It does not always arrive as a scandal. Sometimes it arrives as a shrug.

When safety and dignity are not protected

One of the most painful themes connected to this title is the feeling that the system broke faith first. A trainee may enter medicine prepared for long hours, complexity, and grief. Many are not prepared for racism, harassment, stalking, intimidation, sexist treatment, retaliation fears, or leadership that responds to serious concerns with polished inaction. That kind of failure lands differently because it cuts at the profession’s moral identity.

A safe learning environment is not a luxury item, like a fancy coffee machine in the residents’ lounge that nobody knows how to clean. It is foundational. When students and clinicians feel unsafe, their distress does not remain neatly packaged in a private emotional box. It spills into sleep, concentration, trust, relationships, judgment, and sometimes their willingness to stay in the profession at all.

And the insult is doubled when institutions continue to speak in the language of professionalism while refusing accountability. Nothing makes noble language feel cheaper faster than watching it coexist with tolerated harm. The oath asks future physicians to respect colleagues as fellow members of a shared profession. Fair enough. But respect is not a one-way street. Institutions that expect loyalty while excusing abuse are not defending professionalism; they are staging it.

Burnout, moral injury, and the impossible math of modern care

Burnout is often described as exhaustion, cynicism, and a reduced sense of efficacy. That description is accurate, but incomplete. It can make burnout sound like a personal battery problem, as if doctors just need a longer weekend and a better granola bar. In reality, many clinicians describe something deeper: moral injury.

Moral injury happens when professionals know what good care requires but are repeatedly blocked from delivering it by the structures around them. A doctor may want to spend more time listening, coordinating, explaining, following up, or advocating. Instead, the day gets carved into short visits, prior authorizations, documentation burdens, staffing problems, and resource limits. The clinician is then told to be more resilient, which is a little like telling someone to become spiritually stronger while standing on a trapdoor.

This matters because the oath is built on moral agency. It assumes the physician can choose well. But what if the environment keeps reducing good choices into bad options with different fonts? When a clinician repeatedly faces constraints that compromise care, professional identity starts to erode. The result is not only fatigue but grief. Many clinicians are not simply tired; they are mourning the doctor they thought they would be.

That grief helps explain why the title feels larger than one person’s story. “An oath I cannot keep” captures the emotional mathematics of medicine when the numbers do not add up. Promise everything. Document everything. Miss nothing. Feel deeply. Never break. Move faster. Smile more. Do not complain. Also, please finish your modules.

Why this is also a patient-care issue

Some people still talk about clinician distress as though it were separate from patient care, as if physician well-being were a side quest that can be addressed after the real work is done. That is a serious misunderstanding. A profession that runs on depleted attention, emotional numbing, untreated distress, and fear does not become more humane by magic.

When burnout rises, patient safety, communication, continuity, and trust can all suffer. When clinicians feel unsupported after difficult events, the effects do not vanish at the hospital door. When trainees learn to suppress concern rather than voice it, the culture becomes less safe for everyone. So the question is not whether clinician well-being competes with patient care. The real question is why anyone thought they were separable in the first place.

The oath is supposed to protect patients. But one of the clearest ways to honor that aim is to protect the people expected to deliver that care. A collapsing workforce cannot uphold a noble promise simply because the promise was phrased elegantly.

What would make the oath more keepable?

1. Real accountability, not decorative concern

Schools and health systems need reporting structures that actually work. That means timely responses, credible investigations, meaningful consequences, protection against retaliation, and transparency about process. Nothing erodes trust faster than asking people to report harm into a system they believe exists mainly to protect itself.

2. A safer culture in training

Psychological safety should not be treated like a trendy phrase that appears in PowerPoint slides and then disappears during rounds. Students and residents need environments where questions are welcomed, mistakes are examined fairly, and dignity is not conditional on status. Professional formation does not thrive in humiliation.

3. Mental health support without stigma

Confidential support, peer programs, counseling access, and thoughtful leave policies matter. So does the message leadership sends. If vulnerability is quietly coded as weakness, support programs become brochures with office hours. The culture has to change, not just the benefits page.

4. Systems reform, not just self-care slogans

Resilience matters, but it cannot carry the full moral weight of structural dysfunction. Organizations need to reduce unnecessary documentation burdens, improve staffing, involve clinicians in redesign, and stop pretending that wellness can be yoga-ed into existence while workload remains unreasonable. A breathing exercise is lovely. It is not a substitute for a functional system.

5. A broader oath for institutions

Perhaps the most honest response to this topic is that physicians should not be the only ones taking vows. Leaders, educators, regulators, and organizations shape care just as powerfully as individuals do. If institutions expect clinicians to uphold dignity, safety, and trust, then institutions should make equally explicit commitments of their own: protect learners, reduce preventable harm, listen seriously, and do not punish truth-telling.

The deeper meaning of the title

In the end, An oath I cannot keep is not really about refusing to care for patients. It is about refusing to lie. It is a protest against empty ceremony. It says: I understand what these words mean, and that is exactly why I hesitate. If medicine wants the oath to remain meaningful, it must do more than preserve the ritual. It must build conditions in which the ritual can be lived honestly.

The strongest professionals are not always the ones who say yes the fastest. Sometimes they are the ones who stop at the edge of a promise and ask whether the profession itself is prepared to meet them there. That pause is not betrayal. It may be the last surviving form of integrity.

Medicine does not need fewer ideals. It needs fewer contradictions. The oath should remain aspirational, but it should not be fictional. A promise that cannot survive contact with training, hierarchy, bias, and bureaucracy will eventually lose moral force. And when that happens, everyone loses: doctors, students, institutions, and most of all, patients.

The goal is not to abandon the oath. The goal is to earn it back.

Experience-based reflection: what this conflict feels like in real life

Imagine a student standing in a white coat ceremony or graduation event, hearing words about duty, honor, respect, compassion, and lifelong service. Family members are proud. Phones are out. Someone in the back is trying to take a photo and accidentally records twelve seconds of the ceiling. It is a lovely scene. But inside the student’s head, the moment is less cinematic and more crowded.

They are remembering the times they stayed quiet because speaking up felt dangerous. They are remembering an attending who taught empathy in public and cruelty in private. They are remembering nights of studying while also trying to recover from a humiliation no one else wanted to name. They are remembering how often medicine praised endurance in ways that sounded suspiciously like permission for neglect.

Maybe they were the student who never quite fit the local culture. Maybe they were the one marked as too outspoken, too quiet, too emotional, too different, too foreign, too serious, too something. Medicine can be generous, but it can also be startlingly efficient at making people feel they must earn basic belonging. Over time, that pressure changes the emotional texture of training. Even achievements begin to feel negotiated rather than celebrated.

Then comes the oath. Respect colleagues. Trust the profession. Honor your teachers. Preserve dignity. Serve selflessly. The student wants to mean every word. That is the problem. They do not want to say it lightly. They know what it costs to give respect where safety was not returned. They know what gratitude sounds like when it has been edited by fear. They know that service is noble, but not when institutions use nobility as a coupon for overwork.

And still, despite all of that, many people stay. That may be the most moving part of this entire subject. They stay because patients are real. Relief is real. Diagnosis is real. Comfort is real. The privilege of helping another human being through pain is real. Even disillusioned trainees often remain deeply devoted to the core purpose of medicine. Their conflict is not with care itself. It is with the gap between what medicine says it is and what parts of the system sometimes allow it to become.

So when someone says, “This is an oath I cannot keep,” they may really mean, “I want this promise to be true enough that I can say it without flinching.” That is not cynicism. That is heartbreak mixed with standards. It is the voice of someone asking the profession to deserve the beautiful words it loves to repeat.

Conclusion

An oath I cannot keep is a powerful title because it exposes a problem modern medicine can no longer afford to treat as private discomfort. The physician’s oath still expresses the profession’s best self. But when learners and clinicians experience harassment, discrimination, hidden curriculum pressures, burnout, and moral injury, the oath begins to sound less like a promise and more like a test of denial. The solution is not to mock ideals or romanticize suffering. It is to align institutional behavior with professional values. If medicine wants its oaths to matter, it must create environments where dignity is protected, truth is safe to tell, and caring for patients does not require sacrificing the humanity of the people providing that care.

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3 things I wish I had known before starting medical schoolhttps://dulichbaolocaz.com/3-things-i-wish-i-had-known-before-starting-medical-school/https://dulichbaolocaz.com/3-things-i-wish-i-had-known-before-starting-medical-school/#respondTue, 10 Mar 2026 17:41:10 +0000https://dulichbaolocaz.com/?p=8266Medical school hits fast: the workload is huge, the pressure is real, and the “unspoken rules” can feel confusing. This in-depth guide breaks down three things many students wish they’d known before starting medical school: (1) success comes from a repeatable study system built on active recall and spaced review, not endless rereading; (2) well-being isn’t optionalsleep, movement, food, and support protect your learning and your mental health; and (3) the hidden curriculum starts early, from feedback and professionalism to understanding how exams, clerkships, and residency planning fit together. You’ll also get a 500-word, real-life add-on full of practical, relatable experiences to help you start med school with confidenceand fewer surprises.

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Before medical school, I pictured myself strolling through sunlit hospital corridors, casually diagnosing rare diseases
while a string quartet played in the background. What I actually got was a calendar full of “mandatory wellness sessions”
scheduled at the exact moment I planned to sleep, and a new personality trait called “I can’t, I’m behind.”

If you’re starting medical school (or hovering over the “accept offer” button like it’s a bomb-defusal scene), this is the
advice I wish someone had slipped into my white coat pocket on Day 1. It’s practical, a little funny (because otherwise we’d cry),
and built around real patterns you’ll see in U.S. medical education: massive information volume, high-stakes evaluations, and a
“hidden curriculum” that starts whispering long before you can pronounce “sphygmomanometer” with confidence.

Thing #1: Medical school isn’t about being “smart” it’s about building a system

The firehose is real, and it does not care about your undergraduate GPA

Medical school rewards consistency more than heroics. You can’t “cram-and-pray” your way through an endless stream of anatomy,
physiology, path, pharm, micro, and clinical reasoning. The students who look calm aren’t secretly smartermany of them simply
built a repeatable system early and kept refining it.

Here’s the core shift: your job is not to expose yourself to information. Your job is to retrieve it reliably,
under pressure, weeks later, when your brain is tired and your coffee is doing emotional labor.

Stop rereading. Start retrieving.

Rereading notes feels productive because it’s familiar. But familiarity isn’t competence. What actually builds durable memory is
active recallforcing your brain to pull information out without looking. That can be practice questions, flashcards, “brain dumps,”
teaching a concept out loud, or writing from memory before checking your accuracy.

A practical rule: if your study session doesn’t include moments of “ugh, I don’t know this,” it may not be training the skill you
need on exam day. Productive studying is a little uncomfortable. That’s not failurethat’s reps.

Spaced repetition beats the “weekend warrior” plan

Medical school punishes the all-or-nothing schedule. If you go hard for 12 hours one day and disappear for two days, you’ll spend
a ton of time relearning. Spacing your reviewtouching key material repeatedly over timecreates the compounding effect you want:
a little progress every day, instead of repeated “starting over.”

Resource minimalism is a superpower (yes, really)

There’s a special kind of procrastination unique to med students: downloading resources. You will be tempted to build a library
of videos, textbooks, decks, and “high-yield” documents large enough to qualify as a mid-sized public university.

Choose a small “core stack” and stick with it long enough to learn how you learn. A common rhythm looks like:

  • Preview (10–20 minutes): what’s the big picture today?
  • Engage (lecture/small group): focus on concepts, not transcription
  • Retrieve (45–90 minutes): questions/flashcards/teach-back
  • Repair (15–30 minutes): patch weak points, then move on

Your system should be boring in the best waylike brushing your teeth. You don’t need a motivational speech to brush your teeth.
You just do it because you enjoy having teeth.

A concrete example week (that doesn’t require superhuman willpower)

Let’s say you have a heavy week: cardio physiology, antibiotics, and anatomy lab. Here’s a realistic structure:

  • Mon–Fri: 60–90 minutes of retrieval daily (questions + flashcards) tied to that day’s material
  • Two “micro-reviews”: 15 minutes each for last week’s toughest topics
  • One weekend block: 2–3 hours to consolidate and do mixed practice (not 12 hours of suffering)

The goal isn’t perfection. The goal is momentum. Your study system should survive bad days. Because bad days will happensometimes
because medicine is hard, and sometimes because your printer will sense your fear and jam at 2:00 a.m.

Thing #2: Your well-being isn’t extra credit it’s required equipment

Burnout doesn’t wait until residency to introduce itself

Medical school is a high-stress environment by design: high volume, frequent testing, evaluation pressure, and a culture that can
mistake suffering for commitment. Many students enter training with healthy habits and slowly replace them with “I’ll deal with it
after the exam,” which is adorable because there’s always another exam.

The trick is to treat well-being like any other clinical skill: assess, intervene, follow up. You wouldn’t ignore a patient’s
worsening symptoms for months. Don’t do it to yourself.

Build a tiny “minimum effective dose” routine

You do not need a perfect lifestyle. You need a basic routine that fits even when your schedule is chaotic. Think of it as your
non-negotiable maintenance plan:

  • Sleep protection: a consistent wind-down cue (same 10 minutes every night)
  • Movement: 10–20 minutes counts (walk, stairs, short lift, anything repeatable)
  • Food plan: one default breakfast + two “safe meals” you can repeat without thinking
  • Social tether: one weekly check-in with a person who knows you beyond your Step prep persona

This is not a “wellness aesthetic.” It’s fatigue management. The healthier you are, the faster you learn and the more patient you can be.
That’s not inspirationalit’s mechanical.

Know your support options before you need them

Medical schools often have counseling services, wellness programming, student affairs support, peer support groups, and academic
coaching. The problem is that many students only look for help when they’re already drowning. If you can, learn what exists early:
how to make an appointment, what’s confidential, what’s free, and what’s off-campus.

And if you’re struggling, you deserve supportfull stop. Medical training can be intense, and taking care of yourself is part of
becoming a safe clinician.

The learning environment matters more than people admit

Here’s something nobody says loudly enough: culture affects performance. If you’re in a supportive environment, you’ll learn faster,
ask more questions, and recover from mistakes. If you’re in a toxic environment, you’ll spend mental energy on self-protection instead
of learning.

U.S. medical education has been working to address mistreatment and promote respectful learning environments, but issues can still arise.
If something feels offpublic humiliation, discrimination, retaliation fearsdocument what happened, talk to a trusted advisor, and use
your school’s reporting or support channels. Protecting the learning environment is not “being difficult.” It’s patient safety culture,
just upstream.

A tiny mindset shift that helps: you are training for a marathon, not a daily sprint

You will meet students who treat every week like a final boss battle. It’s impressive for about three weeks and then it turns into
exhaustion cosplay. The reality is that medicine is long. Your goal is sustainable excellence, not temporary self-destruction.

Thing #3: The hidden curriculum is real and it’s basically pre-residency already

It’s not just what you know; it’s what you can show (at the right time)

In U.S. training, there are formal milestones (pre-clinical grades, clerkship evaluations, licensing exams) and informal ones
(professional reputation, teamwork, reliability, communication). The hidden curriculum is all the unspoken rules: how to ask for
feedback, how to present a patient, how to write a note that makes sense, how to recover after being wrong without spiraling.

The earlier you start practicing “show your work,” the easier clinical years will feel. That means:

  • Practicing concise explanations (one-minute summaries)
  • Getting comfortable with feedback (including awkward feedback)
  • Learning to be helpful without being invisible
  • Building professional habits: punctuality, follow-through, kindness under stress

Yes, exams still matterjust differently than you expect

Licensing exams and standardized assessments are part of the landscape. Step 1 is now pass/fail, which changes how students talk about it,
but it doesn’t make the learning irrelevant. It shifts emphasis: foundational knowledge still matters, and other measures (like clinical
performance and later standardized testing) often carry more weight in how students position themselves for opportunities.

Translation: don’t obsess over being “perfect,” but don’t ignore the structure of evaluations either. Build strong foundations early so you’re
not trying to learn everything twiceonce for class and once “for real” later.

Mentorship isn’t networking; it’s strategy with a human face

“Find a mentor” is advice so common it becomes background noise. Here’s the upgraded version: find multiple mentors
for different needs.

  • Academic mentor: helps you study smarter and stay on track
  • Career mentor: helps you explore specialties and build experiences intentionally
  • Well-being mentor: someone who models sustainable habits and perspective

A mentor relationship can start with one good question: “If you were starting over as an M1, what would you do differently?”
(You’re welcome. That question prints wisdom.)

The Match is a multi-year projectstart tiny, early

You don’t need to pick a specialty in your first month. But you can begin building optionality:

  • Keep a running list of “energy moments” (what rotations/topics light you up?)
  • Do low-stakes shadowing when possible
  • Join one interest group that actually interests you
  • Learn how your school supports residency applications (advising, timelines, application systems)

A huge portion of stress comes from feeling behind on a process you don’t understand yet. Make it understandable in small pieces.
Future-you will send a thank-you note. (Future-you is also tired.)

Extra 500-word add-on: the experiences I wish I could have time-traveled to tell myself

The first week of medical school felt like moving into a new city where everyone already knew the subway map. People casually dropped
phrases like “Anki settings” and “boards resources” the way normal humans say “good morning.” I smiled and nodded with the confidence
of someone who absolutely did not know what was happening.

My earliest “I wish I’d known” moment wasn’t academicit was emotional. I assumed that if I felt overwhelmed, it meant I didn’t belong.
In reality, feeling overwhelmed was the most normal thing in the room. The volume is supposed to stretch you. The danger is interpreting
stretching as breaking.

Then came the first exam cycle. I watched classmates turn into productivity machines. Some were genuinely thriving. Others were silently
panicking while posting color-coded schedules that looked like modern art. I tried to copy the aesthetic and learned an important lesson:
pretty plans don’t equal effective studying. Once I shifted from “I studied all day” to “I did two hours of practice questions and reviewed
my misses,” my stress dropped. I wasn’t guessing whether I learnedI could see it.

Anatomy lab was its own rite of passage. I expected to feel like a scientist. Sometimes I did. Other times I felt like a confused raccoon
in scrubs trying to locate a nerve while someone confidently pointed in the wrong direction. (This happens more than you think.) What helped
was naming the experience correctly: it’s not supposed to be smooth. It’s supposed to be unfamiliar until it isn’t.

I also didn’t realize how much my body would keep score. The weeks I slept less, I learned slower. The days I skipped meals, my patience
evaporated. I would tell my earlier self: stop treating sleep like a reward you earn after studying. Sleep is part of studying. It’s where
the brain files the paperwork. No paperwork, no retrieval.

The “hidden curriculum” showed up early, too. It was in the way certain students asked questions (curious, concise, not performative),
and in the way residents talked about teamwork. It was in the reality that being pleasant, dependable, and prepared makes people want to teach you.
I used to think medicine was purely about knowledge. It’s knowledge plus trust. Every small interaction trains that.

And finally, money. Loan disbursement felt like a relief until it hit me: relief is not the same as a plan. I wish I’d built a simple budget
from day onenot because I wanted to be “financially optimized,” but because uncertainty drains energy. A basic system (rent, food, transport,
small cushion) gave me fewer things to worry about at 2:00 a.m. when my brain was already busy reciting pharmacology side effects like haunted poetry.

If I could go back, I’d tell myself this: you don’t need to be flawless. You need to be steady. Build a system, protect your mind and body,
and learn the unspoken rules with curiosity instead of fear. Medical school will still be hardbut it won’t have to be chaotic.

Closing thoughts

Starting medical school is excitingand also a little ridiculous, in the way only big dreams can be. If you remember nothing else, remember this:
systems beat stress, well-being fuels performance, and the hidden curriculum is learnable.
You’re not trying to become a perfect student. You’re training to become a reliable, thoughtful clinician. That’s a longer game, and you can play it well.

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